Friendliness {open!}

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Redbird • Permanent Queen Posts: 11 Likes: 0 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: may~riin	Post by Redbird on Jul 5, 2018 22:34:22 GMT The breeze is nice. was all Redbird could dwell on, laying comfortably in the shade of the nursery and moss-green eyes drawn closed in relaxation. She had always liked the wind, having made friends with it as a small, lonely kitten in FireClan what felt like ages before, and since then, it held a soft part in her heart. It wasn't real or alive, but Redbird didn't quite care for reality in that part, content in pretending it was a comforting force on FireClan's plains. The queen was currently at the entrance of, what she claimed, was her den. (And the other queens, mind you, but that's unimportant now!) With her paws tucked under her chest, and belly pressed into the grass and dusty ground. The shade was nice, chilly but not unwelcomed. It was much more appreciated than the baking sun above, which felt like it was trying to scorch the world in fire. A part of Redbird wondered if it was some sort of karma against FireClan, or maybe against all the clans. She wasn't sure. Slowly, Redbird opened her eyes back up to take in the view of FireClan's camp. Although she loved laying here, hidden away in the shade and listening to the adorable sounds of the kits in the den behind her, the facts remained that she was thirsty, and a bit under socialized. When had she last held a conversation with someone other than those she shared the nursery with? Probably yesterday, but still, it was afternoon hours now and Redbird wanted company. Giving the clearing a curious scan, the queen convinced herself that if someone didn't approach her soon with their own courage and kindness, she'd leap upon the first soul in sight for a friend. Because, mouse-dung, Redbird was lonely! { okay rlly bad post in all, haven't rped in aaaageeess and like, she is developing a personality thru rp mostly soo its just a mess... baaaahh anyone is free to join, so c'mon and join me! ❤}
	Roleplayer: May~Riin
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 5, 2018 22:34:22 GMT via mobile Edited by Redbird Jul 5, 2018 22:36:17 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Foxfeather • Leader "family doesn't end in blood" Posts: 23 Likes: 1 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: kira	Post by Foxfeather on Jul 6, 2018 2:07:03 GMT ((Don't sweat it ahahaha. You're good ^_^ Foxfeather didn't strike up a friendly chat with every cat she saw, mostly because it would be terribly.... Impractical. That, and Foxfeather didn't always have the patience to indulge other young cats, even if she was still considered young and untested by many. She didn't always understand the ways young minds worked, and sometimes.... Admittedly others seemed like a mystery to her. She was better when they had a job to do. Idle chit chat? Not so much, not exactly Foxfeather's talent and not why the previous leader named her his successor. She didn't like thinking about her predecessor, and sometimes she just needed something to drive away the thoughts that curled out in her mind, like a smirking snake that dripped burning poison upon her peace of mind. Today was a fairly tolerable day for a day in Greenleaf, which brought with it intense, blinding sunlight that wrapped everything in thick heat you could almost suffocate on. The kind of heat that wore down your muscles, and made you think perhaps it was time for a nap. Of course, prey got a litter better in Greenleaf, and they could shy away from provoking the other clans by stealing their prey and herbs.... Well, more so the former. An herb store always had to be built up, and herbs could last longer than prey.... And herbs died in Leaf-bare, while you could still scrounge up a little prey even whilst in the claws of icy Leaf-bare. Anyway, Foxfeather really needed to get these thoughts out of her head. She wasn't one for idle chit chat, but maybe some brainless chatter could clear these thoughts from her head. She noticed a face she didn't see in the camp all too often: Redbird. She was one of the she-cats who became a permanent fixture in the nursery, and Foxfeather idly wondered when she'd be forced to order Redbird to kill her own kits because there wasn't enough prey for the cats who actually hunted. She probably shouldn't be thinking about things like that when talking to her, though..... Foxfeather's mind really wasn't a cheery place sometimes. She forced a pleasant smile that didn't look forced at all, and approached the she-cat. "Redbird." She greeted. Redbird
	Redbird likes this biography "this world is a cruel, cruel place. the only fairness and kindness you'll find, is the kind that we put into it."
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 6, 2018 2:07:03 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Redbird • Permanent Queen Posts: 11 Likes: 0 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: may~riin	Post by Redbird on Jul 7, 2018 1:32:57 GMT { gasp KIIIRAAA?!} } It was as if luck had been bestowed onto the queen as she got just what she wanted. Moments after mustering the energy and willpower to set off for some companionship, her moss-green eyes caught on a familiar form. It was an instant realization for Redbird on the cat's identity, because seriously, who didn't know their own clan leader? Foxfeather was a respected figure in the small community, a FireClan build and ginger tabby fur, marked by just a few more distinct scars. Though Redbird had never held a strong conversation with the she-cat yet, and she was (likely?) younger than Foxfeather and less experienced, that didn't mean she wasn't happy to see her approaching. Redbird's ears had perked up and eyes squinted slightly in a more relaxed way, as she had been just ready to leap into action. "Hi, Foxfeather." she replied warmly, sincerely. Taking note that the ginger tabby was stuck out in the sunlight, even if the sun was lower in the sky, Redbird scooched over in the shade of the nursery to make room. "Ah, here, want to come into the shade with me? There's plenty of room, and it's not easy staying cool in green-leaf. At least, not on the prairie lands." Despite Redbird's horrible history of being a lazy apprentice that skipped out on most of her duties, to play with kittens in the nursery or beg her denmates to hang out with her instead of doing work themselves, the queen was natural in a conversation. Even in her rebel days, when all the pressure and control of the older cats made her scarce and seemingly uncaring (though she did her part and earned her stay, just barely), she could hold a decent and friendly conversation like it was nothing. Some cats could argue she talked a bit too much. Like she was the main input in any discussion. Well, where's the lie? Back to the matter at paw, Redbird had a brief moment of worry that Foxfeather hadn't come over to socialize, but merely state some information. And that her scooching over to make room (not that it was cramped, but Redbird kind of planted herself in the center of it) was just going to end up embarrassing herself.
	Roleplayer: May~Riin
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 7, 2018 1:32:57 GMT via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Foxfeather • Leader "family doesn't end in blood" Posts: 23 Likes: 1 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: kira	Post by Foxfeather on Jul 7, 2018 3:45:23 GMT ((IT meeeee! :DDDDDD Foxfeather recognized that Redbird seemed to perk up at her approach.... Seemingly relaxing as the leader came closer. So, she probably thought well of Foxfeather. Either she didn't know of Foxfeather's past deeds, or she bought into the fox-dung that they'd been honorable acts. Despite everything.... Foxfeather didn't feel the slightest bit honorable. She didn't talk about it, however. Though, she honestly doubted that Redbird had managed to miss Foxfeather's ah.... History. They couldn't be that different in age, honestly. Foxfeather appeared to be friendly, ears perked with eyes glittering with interest, as her tail swung jovially behind her like a pendulum. She gave a cheerier image than her own thoughts, though wasn't that the story of her life? She always seemed nicer than she was. She supposed a leader had to do their best to be loved and respected instead of feared.... Unless you were into that kind of thing, which Foxfeather was not. She did not want to be feared. She didn't want to lead like that, but who knew how Foxfeather would find herself leading? Honestly, she half-expected impossible situations to crop up and force her into hard calls she didn't want to make. .... Wait, wasn't she trying to talk to Redbird to chase away this infernal trains of thought? Anyway, back to the task at paw. She nodded with a slightly pleasant smile. She took a seat next to Redbird, before she lid into a laying down position, though she still seemed to have straight posture. She was still holding up her upper body with her forelegs, instead of fully slouching. Probably didn't project the greatest image of a leader lazing around.... Different from relaxing. Relaxing was good, it was a sign that things were fine. Lazing? Sign that the leader didn't care. Well..... Okay Foxfeather was not always the kind who made sure to project leader-like qualities with every breath, but she also wasn't trying to seem like the worst leader to grace the position in Fireclan history. She eyed Redbird. She knew a little bit about Redbird, but not much personally. She knew of her reputation as the lazy kind, who preferred hanging around and skipping her duty in order to socialize. Foxfeather wondered how things would've been different if she'd been more like Redbird. Would she have been happier? .... Well it was too late now. Foxfeather was the leader of Fireclan who would have to be harsh to pull her clan through hard times. Redbird was the purportedly lazy queen. That was that. .... Okay, now came the hard part. Okay, what could they talk about? Foxfeather said the first thing that came to mind. "Do you still hunt?" She knew that Redbird was generally nursery-bound and well.... Foxfeather was curious. She couldn't keep track of the comings and goings of every single one of her clanmates, so she didn't know. Redbird
	biography "this world is a cruel, cruel place. the only fairness and kindness you'll find, is the kind that we put into it."
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 7, 2018 3:45:23 GMT Edited by Foxfeather Jul 7, 2018 3:45:37 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Redbird • Permanent Queen Posts: 11 Likes: 0 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: may~riin	Post by Redbird on Jul 8, 2018 4:08:41 GMT { KIIIIRAAAAA o(╥﹏╥)o } For Redbird, she did know Foxfeather's history. And she didn't consider most of it honorable, in some ways. (Assuming they around the same age, Red is roughly 2 years, idk new-leaf birth tho) She had known Flamepaw herself and was devastated by the tomcat's murder, as they had been denmates, even if the tomcat was a little older. Foxfeather had been praised for her deed, and FireClan's former leader refused to hear anything else so long as they were present. At the time, Redbird had felt betrayed by her denmate, and usually went about the day with awkward silences and fleeting glances whenever Foxfeather had been around. That phase had ended under two weeks, as Redbird had never been well in remembering past mistakes in the heat of conversation. And since then, things had been chill, if not a little more awkward around the whole blinding incident. Even now, the queen could hardly recall those moments from Foxfeather's history, considering the leader was right in front of her with a friendly expression. If she thought hard enough, sure, she'd remember, but Redbird wouldn't kill the mood. And it wasn't like she had been done wrong personally. Never had Foxfeather done something to affect Redbird with ill intent directed only for her, and so, Redbird had no grounds to hate her. FireClan's leader may have a dark history of murder and violence, but considering the time the clans were in now, it wasn't as shocking of a story as it probably should be. I mean, clans were killing their kits and elders these days. Redbird knew those kinds of deaths personally, but not for the reason cats would think, given her position. None of her kits had been picked to die yet. Not yet, at least.... Redbird mentally shook off those thoughts as Foxfeather took her offer, taking the space provided and likely enjoying the soft change in temperature. The FireClan leader looked happy enough, at least. It made the queen feel a little better, a lot less pressure to be careful in her words and actions, given the lack of fear for being punished or snapped at. At the question asked, about her hunting, Redbird gave a sheepish hum and ducked her head a little lower. "I haven't in a long time, honestly. I make excuses that it's because of my plumpness, or that I can't leave the kits unattended, or something of the like. But my biggest excuse is that I don't want to hunt alone, and I know I'd only slow down the hunting patrols." the ginger tabby replied, unable to meet Foxfeather's eyes. There were more reasons, of course. Laziness being a big one. But it was just so easy to play with the kits all day, instead of lumbering around on the prairies. Last time Redbird had gone hunting, she came back with a puny little mouse, the only thing her plump body could manage to catch up to. It was just laaame. *"Well, I think I'd slow anyone* down if they joined me. It's sometimes so exhausting being pregnant...."** She hoped Foxfeather wouldn't be angry with her. Usually those of higher power were when they learned Redbird wasn't putting in all 100% of her effort. It had been that way since apprenticehood, and though Redbird was used to the scoldings, it was still incredibly annoying. It wasn't like she was the worse edition to FireClan. The queen always made sure to be just good enough, and it worked out fiiine! To offer a quick subject change, just in case, Redbird turned a curious (slightly mischievous) gaze onto the ginger tabby beside her. "Soooo, you ever plan on being a mother, Foxfeather?" she purred warmly. And, actually, Redbird was genuinely curious.
	Roleplayer: May~Riin
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 8, 2018 4:08:41 GMT via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Foxfeather • Leader "family doesn't end in blood" Posts: 23 Likes: 1 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: kira	Post by Foxfeather on Jul 10, 2018 23:59:39 GMT Foxfeather tilted her head. Then she thoughtfully looked towards the sky. ".... The only way to improve is to practice." She murmured. She shrugged. "You do our clan a service, taking care of our future....." Foxfeather's gaze slowly descended from the sky to the ground, and then she turned her head and Redbird would be met with an intensity in Foxfeather's eyes. "But there will be those who doubt your contribution is enough." Then the dull roar of flames burning behind Foxfeather's eyes abruptly faded, as they glittered with amusement again. "But I think you've found your place, and that's where you'll stay." She said, almost purring as she spoke. Foxfeather blinked at the suddenly strange question. Foxfeather shrugged uselessly. ".... Not really. Not much time for it, y'know? I'd have to put down my leadership duties long enough to raise children. I don't believe that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make." At least, not if Foxfeather had anything to do. Besides... Given everything, she didn't think she'd make a good mother. That, and she wasn't sure who she could possibly have kits with. She wasn't a very romantic cat, the closest thing she had was a fleeting crush on someone a very long time ago but now.... There simply wasn't time for it. She looked at Redbird. Redbird's past was much less.... Ah... Exciting than Foxfeather's. Redbird unlike Foxfeather, was chastised throughout her life for not putting forth enough effort. Foxfeather wondered how hard Redbird tried at first, before she perhaps gave up as she found her niche in raising kits. Redbird was the one who cats didn't think would amount to anything, while Foxfeather was the one who was.... Talented, dedicated, a service to the clan. Most everything she did was praised publicly.... She guessed she and Redbird led very different lives. Redbird surely didn't have any ghosts weighing down on her back, surely didn't have many anxieties other than her lack of hunting and the possibility of losing her kits. Once more, Foxfeather somewhat pessimistically wondered how long before it was decided that Redbird's kits were a necessary sacrifice.... And then Foxfeather would have to tell Redbird to kill her own kits. Foxfeather wondered how long before Redbird regarded her with hate and fear and anger, and only kept following Foxfeather because she was a leader for a reason. Redbird ((Sorry that Foxfeather is a weirdo
	biography "this world is a cruel, cruel place. the only fairness and kindness you'll find, is the kind that we put into it."
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 10, 2018 23:59:39 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Redbird • Permanent Queen Posts: 11 Likes: 0 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: may~riin	Post by Redbird on Jul 12, 2018 6:56:33 GMT Redbird gave a slow blink, drawing a little distant as her clan leader advised practice in hunting. And it wasn't because it was bad advice, because it really wasn't, but it just carried the same kind of aura as some of the scoldings she had endured. Such a tone easily drew Redbird away, clicking her attention elsewhere, but still coherent to the conversation at paw. And even when she was, perhaps she could assume, given a twinge of praise for her position... the words just felt polite enough to gloss over the true meaning. You need to work harder. Not saying you're not good enough already. As Foxfeather's head turned, the queen's eyes snapped back to focus and return the stare. And she almost wished she hadn't, at the same time she was glad she had. The FireClan leader held no sympathy or anger for her, burning as passionately as the blazing sun overhead, with no mercy for any who dare claim themselves as pitiful. Foxfeather said, in a strong voice, that Redbird's life would likely be met with those who doubted her contribution to the clan. And as the flames died in Foxfeather's eyes to become more soothing, Redbird could only bitterly agree, showed only in a small twitch of an ear. It's not like I'm completely useless! Redbird had always felt like arguging to cats, as if she had no choice but to demand they understand. Now I raise the future warriors of FireClan. So let them judge me! Like I care! If only she really didn't. "...I think I've found my place, too." Redbird finally found her voice, and resumed control of the conversation with ease, subconsciously ignoring all statements of her effort to FireClan. "I really became a better cat as a warrior. No more strict teachings and control, and even if I still was a lazy butt, I totally loved the freedom and made the most out of it! And being a queen is even better, it's like I've found exactly where I was meant to be in life." The moment Redbird felt like explaining how she had become slightly better as a warrior than an apprentice, she quickly steered herself away and towards a more positive direction. Being a queen. "Kits are so soft and sweet. I've always liked them. And all my Clanmates are off my tail about work, work, work, as I technically am working! It's a win-win, isn't it?" Redbird hummed in agreement as Foxfeather explained how she couldn't be a mother. It made sense. A good leader should put their clan first, even before their family in a twisted way. They weren't given the position for nothing. But the information also kind of saddened the queen. Even if Foxfeather didn't scream 'I'd be a good mother!', wasn't there a part of every she-cat that wanted to experience that part of life? Even if just for a moment or two. To have little versions of yourself bumbling around. "That makes sense. Guess there's some respect there, considering it isn't an easy thing to kind of give up." Redbird murmured, and then immediately hoped she didn't come off as rude. But with a curious tilt of her head, and still feeling rather safe to talk casually with Foxfeather (even if she caught of glimpse of an eye-volcano not that long ago that could be slightly concerning and maybe she should be a little more cautious after that, I mean this is the cat who murde--whoops bad thoughts Red), the queen posed another question. "What if you weren't a leader?" Redbird meowed with interest. *"So there was no sacrifice needed. Would you even want kits? I know not every* she-cat wants to deal with children, but well... it seems most do."** {pfffttt they both arrrrre}
	Roleplayer: May~Riin
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 12, 2018 6:56:33 GMT via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Foxfeather • Leader "family doesn't end in blood" Posts: 23 Likes: 1 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: kira	Post by Foxfeather on Jul 13, 2018 16:48:01 GMT Foxfeather got the feeling her words didn't exactly have the ideal effect upon Redbird. The exaggerated blinking kind of gave the queen away. Considering Redbird's reputation.... Foxfeather had to guess she heard something like what Foxfeather had said throughout her life.... Foxfeather could kind of understand getting tired of being told the same things over and over.... Even if the content of the words were probably incredibly different, considering how different Redbird and Foxfeather were. At least, Redbird sounded content with her lot in life. It was a lot more than Foxfeather could claim. Foxfeather honestly wasn't sure what she was doing as leader. She'd been a warrior of Fireclan, who'd made decisions and mistakes that somehow were made out to be these great.... Deeds of some sort, but to Foxfeather they felt like horrible, horrible sins weighing down on her neck. The previous leader of Fireclan must've thought that Foxfeather was as ruthless as he was, and thus far too fast Foxfeather was promoted to deputy and then suddenly she was leader and now she had to lead Fireclan. She wanted to do it better, but she wasn't entirely she could. She wasn't entirely sure she was the right cat to be better than her predecessor. Foxfeather supposed no one was making her stay as leader.... But Foxfeather didn't have any ideas as to whom could replace her, and she worried about just leaving and leaving Viperstrike in charge. Viperstrike.... Probably needed time before he could be a leader that Fireclan needed. He still wasn't.... She didn't think he would have the strength and charisma that a leader needed. Viperstrike hardly seemed interested in learning about the cats they were supposed to lead. That wasn't right. He'd need time. Listening to Redbird speak about her feelings about finding her place in Fireclan.... It sounded like an almost-magical experience from Redbird's perspective. Like discovering that the queen could just stay in the nursery had released her from some kinds of shackles, and now she was happy. Bitterly, Foxfeather wished she could find something that would make all her problems wash away like that.... The idea of being free from just everything sounded wonderful, but the very nature of Foxfeather's role seemed to be letting herself be chained. No, they were too different. Redbird, she could have that luxury. Foxfeather couldn't. Though, Foxfeather didn't agree about the part about kits. She thought them more about how.... Squishy and fragile they were. That and kits could be.... Troublesome, and Foxfeather didn't know how to deal with them. She barely managed to train an apprentice up to warriorhood, making her qualify for the deputy position. Foxfeather simply shrugged as Redbird seemed to understand Foxfeather's reasonings. Except, she posed a hypothetical. Foxfeather's eyes seemed to suddenly get far away. Technically, she was still looking at Redbird, but it seemed like she really, really wasn't looking at Redbird. "...... No. That's not me." She said quietly. It really wasn't. Even despite everything, the idea of simply sitting around would probably kill Foxfeather. She.... She desperately needed to be useful. It was something that was felt deep down to her bones, and having to stay stationary while pregnant and then having to raise little kits.... She couldn't do that. Also.... Admittedly.... She was terrified that she'd ruin her potential kits. They might simply inherit Foxfeather's inherent flaws, or Foxfeather might break them too early because er.... Foxfeather just didn't think she was a great influence on anyone. Redbird ((Hello anxietyyyy
	biography "this world is a cruel, cruel place. the only fairness and kindness you'll find, is the kind that we put into it."
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 13, 2018 16:48:01 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Redbird • Permanent Queen Posts: 11 Likes: 0 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: may~riin	Post by Redbird on Jul 13, 2018 22:46:02 GMT Foxfeather didn't say much to Redbird's speech about finding her dream job, but for some reason, it felt like she didn't have to. Looking interested in the conversation was quite enough for the red tabby to be satisfied, and it seemed that her leader was thinking a little too much about the subject, or maybe multiple subjects. Although Foxfeather showed hardly any emotion other than what was socially approachable, Redbird could tell her thoughts were buzzing. With what, though? She probably shouldn't ask. Having asked the ginger she-cat about kits again was probably pushing her luck. Foxfeather didn't seem all that invested in the conversation in the beginning, and especially not after the 'what if' scenario. Even though her clan leader was staring right at her, she really wasn't there. And what she said, which was totally expected by the way, hardly seemed like anything more than auto-pilot. Foxfeather was lost even deeper into her mind. Redbird didn't know how to think about that. Perhaps Foxfeather's past was just making her assume the worst out of everything the she-cat did. What if she wasn't just in thought, but trying to control herself in lashing out against a persistent queen? Aaahh, Redbird didn't want to think like that! "That's alright!" Redbird meowed cheerfully, giving away no sign she was nervous. "I get it. Having kits is a pretty big step, and some cats just don't want to even go there. Live your life, ya know?" For some reason, she didn't want Foxfeather to know she was secretly afraid. Although she wasn't there for the murder of Flamepaw and blinding of that apprentice, and perhaps things were set up for those to be completely appropriate responses... Redbird was still worried. Foxfeather had shown herself capable of many things. Harming a queen, of course, would definitely be easier than killing her littermate. Aaahh, bad thoughts, shoo! Shoo! She was only afraid of Foxfeather because she didn't know her very well! Who knows, maybe they'd turn into good friends someday? Giving a slow hum after what she said, and now not only trying to return Foxfeather to reality, but even herself, Redbird went on casually. "I mean, you kind of seem more leaderly, Foxfeather, than that of a queen. Not that you wouldn't make a good mom, but I think you've found your place, too." She was trying to be nice. But Redbird fretted she was digging herself a future grave. "Well," she went on bravely. *"I mean, there aren't a lot of cats who are cut out to be leader. It isn't an easy position in the slightest, and I bet I'd* flip under all the pressure if I were in your paws."** Redbird's tail flicked slowly behind her, a memory of being an flashing by. She remembered once playing the leader in a game of Warriors with those in the nursery. It was definitely fun to play, but reality was much harsher, and had much sterner consequences for mistakes as a leader than in a silly kithood story. That sort of role wasn't for her in the slightest. But someone like Foxfeather? Even with the super scary backstory, and the former leader having obviously manipulated the choice of his deputy, she wasn't bad for the position at all. In fact, so far, Foxfeather was a good leader. A lot less displays of ruthlessness, at least. So far. Seemingly non-existent badness at the moment. Yeeeaah, once Redbird remembered Foxfeather's history, it seemed that was all she could think about. At least she seemed chill on the outside. { waves* hi anxiety, meet awkwardness! }*
	Roleplayer: May~Riin
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 13, 2018 22:46:02 GMT via mobile Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

Foxfeather • Leader "family doesn't end in blood" Posts: 23 Likes: 1 Gender: Female Clan: FireClan Played By: kira	Post by Foxfeather on Jul 14, 2018 14:54:41 GMT Once Redbird began speaking again, it snapped Foxfeather's focus back to reality. She was actually looking at Redbird again instead of spacing out. Foxfeather was.... Somewhat aware of she just did? She knew it was weird, but sometimes she couldn't help it. She always did a lot of thinking, maybe too much. Her thoughts always raced at a million miles per hour, and maybe it helped her improvise on the spot and think up ideas... It also made her anxiety and fears and anger feel crushing in the moment, her thoughts only exacerbating her emotions. Though, Foxfeather hadn't lost herself since.... Honeypaw.... That had been the last instance Foxfeather could recall of her losing her temper. It'd been messy, but Honeypaw had been insulting Flamepaw, and shouting at Foxfeather, and she'd just.... Lost her temper and did something she couldn't take back. It didn't take much for Foxfeather to realize it'd be one of the biggest regrets in her life. Of course, she didn't think other cats saw that. Of course they didn't. Cats didn't worry about Foxfeather. That wasn't how it worked. Redbird at least didn't seem to be pressing too much. Foxfeather was thankful for that. She really didn't want anyone delving into something that related back so deeply to her insecurities. Good leaders were strong, right? That meant basically telling absolutely no one about how she was afraid and how she was ashamed and all those wonderful things that made Foxfeather wonder how bad it'd really be if she just up and disappeared one day, disappeared into the wind to never be seen again. Foxfeather figured that Redbird was trying to be nice, and didn't really understand that Foxfeather wasn't sure how much she actually... Liked the leadership position. But here she was, stuck with this responsibility. Redbird couldn't understand how it felt to hear that being a leader was your place. Honestly, Foxfeather was.... She just.... Was she always supposed to be leader? Was it this fate slapped onto her from birth? Was she always heading to this? Was she going to die as leader of Fireclan? Was she trapped? Foxfeather tried to chase these anxieties away, or at least shove them deep into the back of her mind. She needed to stop getting lost in her own head in the middle of conversation. It looked strange, and she didn't need Redbird spreading rumors that Foxfeather was crazy or something. But.... Foxfeather could see Redbird's point. Not everyone was cut out to be leader.... One of Foxfeather's core reasons for not trying to dump the leadership position onto someone else. If she were to do that.... She'd have to do it to someone worthy and competent. Enough so to be leader, and sadly those kinds of cats were not easy to come by.... Even if Foxfeather felt both inadequate and unworthy. "..... Cats who can be leader are pretty hard to come by." Foxfeather agreed out loud. Foxfeather wasn't sure how she felt trying to keep up the conversation.... Could she just get Redbird to just start talking....? "Ah..... So.... What's it like being nursery-bound all the time? With all the kits?" ((In which Foxfeather is weirdly anxious and is trying to get Redbird to start rambling so she doesn't have to try as hard to uphold the conversation on her end lol
	biography "this world is a cruel, cruel place. the only fairness and kindness you'll find, is the kind that we put into it."
Friendliness {open!} Posted Jul 14, 2018 14:54:41 GMT Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top

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May~Riin: Sorry, Skyy and Thin, I'm not sure where Nyx is, hopefully they'll return soon. I looked now and don't have the power to set up that stuff, does anyone else have that?? Might be because I'm a queen, but idk....

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Thorne's lazy: I've been lurking, just haven't been logging in whoops Sept 17, 2018 2:00:29 GMT

minthe: Broken Shadow and Blazeheart from vww..seems a little alive Sept 17, 2018 10:41:34 GMT

Kandy: - is this site active? :'3c Sept 26, 2018 18:49:10 GMT

lynx: hello Nov 4, 2018 22:46:55 GMT

Steven: Hello Nov 7, 2018 4:56:50 GMT

fel: hey it's fel here, i don't know if anyone gets on here anymore but i need help with coding for my site. i've been working on a red queen series rp for about a year or so and i am dreadful at coding and all of that and was wondering if any of y'all would Dec 26, 2018 0:43:41 GMT

fel: like to help me, it would be GREATLY appreciated! c: Dec 26, 2018 0:44:13 GMT

fel: www.theredqueenseries.proboards.com Dec 26, 2018 0:44:54 GMT

Aslan: Is this site active? Feb 16, 2019 2:01:25 GMT

dode: probably not Dec 31, 2020 17:08:24 GMT